America Goes Gaga

After a decade of Britney Spears and George W. Bush, America can finally dance unashamedly to the retro dance beats of Lady Gaga.

Finally, no more pop songs with little creativity or innovation, no more mediocre to terrible singers, and no more LIP-SYNCHING.  Praise Jesus.  Actually, praise Gaga.  I know that most people are sick of hearing about this chick, but I've noticed that some say Gaga is talentless and mediocre.  I am hear to vehemently prove the exact opposite, probably with harshness, sarcasm and a hefty dose of insults.  

Lady Gaga, a New York native born and raised, happens to be, in my humble opinion, one of the most talented female pop stars to come out in the last decade next to Beyonce and Christina.  But even then, Gaga does more than both Beyonce and Christina combined.  Sure, both are superior singers.  But let's be honest: Christina's last album was mediocre at best.  I like Beyonce of course, but her music is much more R and B than pop so I can't truly consider her a pop artist.  

Gaga on the other hand is the epitome of what pop is and should be.  Over-the-top lyrics, over-the-top choreography...hell, just over-the-top in general.  Her lyrics are cheeky, sexual and yet have something to say.  Her music is actually well-prepared, not a couple of synthesizers thrown together after a long night of partying.  She brings back the era of disco-glamour and Freddie Mercury.  And Gaga herself absolutely permeates pop, from the outlandish outfits to the platinum blonde hair.  

Yet the woman is a musician and an artist.  She is an exceptional singer.  She writes all of her own music.  She choreographs her own shows and makes her own stage outfits.  She does all the creative direction for her music videos.  Her live shows are entertaining without becoming a freakshow (sorry Britney).  Basically, she's everything we've been waiting for after years of shallow, over-produced shit.  She creates music, not product.  She actually has something to say and won't allow anyone else to say it for her. 

To all those out there who want to say she is talentless, let me remind you that you are probably in my generation and therefore do not know what good pop music is because, like me, you have been brainwashed to believe that good pop "Oops, I Did it Again" or "Single Ladies".  Please.  Take it from someone who has a strong, creepy affinity for the past: Lady Gaga is good pop.  This is a time of crisis people, let's not add to the chaos and bring down the only good thing to happen in this country for the last ten years, eh? 

Granted, she is VERY theatrical and some people just can't handle that.  I on the other hand, crave theatricality in mainstream music.  I adore it and if I ever were to create my own music, you can bet that it would probably scare your undies right off your ass.  For a musicologist-in-training such as me, she is a wet dream.  

Sorry Britney, but a new girl has my heart and her name is Lady Gaga.

Coraline creeps out kids and their mommies

When Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas came out in theaters fifteen years ago, many critics and parents claimed that the film was far too morbid for little Johnny and Jane.  If I hadn't been a part of the target audience when the film came out, I might have agreed.  Yet, even as a small child, I loved Nightmare and would often shove my VHS tape into the VCR once a week to watch it.  I realize that though Nightmare was rather dark, it was dark in a campy way; it had a theatricality to it reminiscent of a Broadway musical or (yeah, you guessed it) a typical Disney movie, filled with exuberant choruses and, of course, a love story.  Much like any other animated feature tainted with the Disney stamp of approval, Nightmare had enough Tim Burton influence to be unique and original, but enough Disney to keep its morbidity to a minimum.  Creepy but not creepy.  

Don't expect too many Disney moments in Coraline.

Originally a children's book written by Neil Gaiman, Coraline is the story of a young girl who, after moving into a new home, discovers a portal to another world that seems much livlier than her real life, where she lives in a gloomy boarding house with her neglectful parents.  But, as I already knew going into the movie (I read the book years and years ago), nothing is as whimisical as it seems.  

Coraline (voiced notably well by A-list child actor, Dakota Fanning) grows tired of her neglectful parents and her gloomy new home, not to mention the house's tenants and owners.  One night, she discovers a portal to a seemingly better world through a trapdoor in her apartment, which is actually just an alternate version to her real life.  On the other side, she meets her "Other Mother" and "Other Father", more loving versions of her actual parents.  Coraline soon becomes obsessed with this other world until she discovers that her "Other Mother" (voiced by Teri Hatcher, who also voices Coraline's real mother) is really just a dangerously possessive monster who wants to keep her locked in her world forever as a doll to play with.  In fact, the "Other Mother" creates the entire world and other beings as a sort of doll house to play in.  Soon enough, Coraline must battle for not only the "Other Mother's" past victims, but her true parents and her freedom as well.

Director and writer Henry Selick really gets my props here as a master of character development and overall vision.  It is quite apparent that Selick had a specific idea for every character, both visually and characteristically, and it is clear he is masterful in making sure the execution of the vision is done to his liking. A director who knows what he wants? I encourage other Hollywood directors to follow by example.  

The quirky characters are truly a joy to watch in this movie, which is unusual for me to say, because I usually find myself annoyed with minor characters.  But Selick manages to balance the exaggeration of hilarious idiosyncracies (two retired actresses who always try to out-do each other and an eccentric and acrobatic ex-circus player) balanced with their involvement of plot really adds depth to each character.

Animation really takes the cake in this.  The movie is in 3D, but even if it wasn't in 3D, I would still remain humbly impressed.  It's not only the stop-motion animation I'm impressed with (after all, stop-motion is a long and arduous process), but rather the imagery chosen throughout the film.  The "Other Mother" for example, progresses from a peachy version of Coraline's real mother, to a gaunt, spider-like monster.  But the greatest animation choice remains in the doll-like appearance of the characters in the alternate world compared to Coraline's real world.  If you squint, you can see the seams running along "Other Father's" arm, a representation of the "Other Mother's" posession of everything in the alternate universe.  

As I said earlier, there are few Disney moments in this film.  Yes, at some point, there are moments of gut-busting humor (including an old busty woman in nothing but a thong and pasties singing opera, which remains questionable in a kid's film), but the moments are few and far between.  And I don't mind the scarce moments of humor, and in fact enjoy the scarcity, but some kids might get freaked out during this movie.  The film is a horror/fantasy, the first children's film of it's kind, and I was reminded constantly throughout.  The ghosts of dead children speak in wispy, frightened voices, the alternate universe characters look generally disturbing with buttons for eyes, the entire musical score gave me goosebumps through entire film and the "Other Mother" is scary enough to give even me nightmares.  Coraline is creepy in that quiet way that gives you goosebumps and forces you to take a psychological step outside your comfort zone.

Besides some forced dialogue, a long running time (an hour and forty five minutes, unusual for a kids movie), a few unbearably ludicrous moments and Fanning's Minnesotan accent, Coraline is now one of my favorite movies of all time, a film not to be missed by anybody, adults and kids alike...well, maybe not some kids.

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10

The Management is Bringing Disco Back

All these years I could feel a gap in my heart- something was missing....  Aparently that something was disco.  As of late there seems to have been a wonderful flood of disco influenced rock music- the most obvious of these have been The Scissor Sisters and above all- the formidable MGMT (Formerly known as The Management- hahaha- get it?).

MGMT's newest album Oracular Spectacular is a work of disco influenced modern rock art.  

But hold on- I know that a lot of us aren't really open to the concept of opening wide the gates of disco and allowing it to ravage our radios and dance floors as it once did- I tell you not to fear MGMT- that they'll treat you well; and trust me- this album treats you well.  

The disco influence is not as overpowering in the album as the songs we've all heard so many times on the radio suggest.  In fact it hits the listener with a far more varried mass of sounds- ranging from the oddly psychadellic melodies of "4th Dimensional Transition" to the seemingly Beatle's/Pink Floyd influenced "Weekend Wars"....  And of course the disco jams of "Time to Pretend", "Kids", and "Electric Feel".  

In my humble opinion I'd have to say that there isn't a single bad song on the entire album- which is always a nice change from the rest of the shit we find on the radio these days.  

So when it comes to this newest album here's what I have to say- if you like artists like Muse, Pink Floyd, The Scissor Sisters, The Doors, The Beegees, or anything on the face of the earth with the slightest hint of electronic, dance, disco, rock, or indie influences then you have to check out this album.  

Disco is not only reborn- it's been improved on.  

Take that pop music.  

"Disco deserved a better name, a beautiful name because it was a beautiful art form. It made the consumer beautiful. The consumer was the star."
Barry White

The Oscar Line-Up

First off, I will dutifully apologize for such a long pause between posts. The holidays really screw me over in several departments (work ethic being one of them).

But let us not pause much longer! To kick off the new year, it is only appropriate to begin with the Oscars. The nominees were announced Thursday, some names familiar, others not. Not surprisingly, Benjamin Button snagged 13 nominations, one shy of a record. Also not surprisingly, Heath Ledger was voted as Best Supporting Actor posthumously. But what was surprising is that, other than Ledger's nomination, "The Dark Knight" was not nominated for any other major category. Though it did get 8 nominations for technical...stuff (LIKE I CARE).

What kinda ticks me off is the total snub at Clint Eastwood for "Gran Torino". The man is a fucking LEGEND. Even if he wasn't at his best, it's almost an obligation to nominate him. But, apparently the Academy had something up their tight asses this year when it came to nominations. In all seriousness, how could they shut out Christopher Nolan, director of "The Dark Knight"? Everyone and their mom saw "The Dark Knight" and for good reason: it was an awesome film and deserved more than 8 nominations but...this is an opinion column of sorts.

So without further ado, here is the nominee list for all major categories (who gives a crap about lighting? PSH).

Best Picture: "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button", "Frost/Nixon", "Milk", "The Reader", "Slumdog Millionaire".

Best Actor: Richard Jenkins, "The Visitor"; Frank Langella, "Frost/Nixon"; Sean Penn, "Milk"; Brad Pitt, "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"; Mickey Rourke, "The Wrestler".

Best Actress: Anne Hathaway, "Rachel Getting Married"; Angelina Jolie, "Changeling"; Melissa Leo, "Frozen River"; Meryl Streep, "Doubt"; Kate Winslet, "The Reader".

Supporting Actor: Josh Brolin, "Milk"; Robert Downey Jr., "Tropic Thunder"; Philip Seymour Hoffman, "Doubt"; Heath Ledger, "The Dark Knight"; Michael Shannon, "Revolutionary Road".

Supporting Actress: Amy Adams, "Doubt"; Penelope Cruz, "Vicky Cristina Barcelona"; Viola Davis, "Doubt"; Taraji P. Henson, "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"; Marisa Tomei, "The Wrestler".

Director: David Fincher, "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"; Ron Howard, "Frost/Nixon"; Gus Van Sant, "Milk"; Stephen Daldry, "The Reader"; Danny Boyle, "Slumdog Millionaire".

Foreign Film: "The Baader Meinhof Complex," Germany; "The Class", France; "Departures", Japan; "Revanche", Austria; "Waltz with Bashir", Israel.

Best Animated Feature Film: "Bolt", "Kung Fu Panda", "WALL-E".

So that's all the good stuff. If anyone is dying to know about something obscure like film editing or sound mixing (faggot...) just let me know and I'll put it up.

Comments (even ones that challenge me) are welcome.

It's Britney Bitch.

That's right. Britney Spears is back...well, she was never really gone in the first place, but now she's thirty pounds thinner and somewhat sane. She's full of surprises.

Needless to say her new album is almost exactly what I expected.

Circus, Britney's new album off of Jive Records isn't nearly as grand as a circus itself. About 50% of the album is complete filler while the other 50% is damn catchy. The first track "Womanizer" has been floating around in my head for the last three days (it's a great PMS song...the girls know what I'm talking about). The second track "Circus" is my personal favorite on the entire album. Catchy and over the top without being overtly cheesy, it will definitely make you want to dance. But next to the first two tracks, few of the other songs on the album really live up to the hype.

"Radar" is my next favorite song on the album for the exact same reason I like the other two songs: 1) It's fucking catchy. 2)It makes me want to dance. In fact, it's the only reason I like any of Spears' songs. We all know she is mediocre as a singer (the mellow songs make me cringe for that reason, though "Unusual You" actually has some heart) but the whole point of Britney Spears is to let loose and not take things so seriously. So, if you plan on downloading this album, you are either a huge fan or you're like me and you just like catchy music once in a while. "Amnesia" and "Shattered Glass" sound just like old Britney Spears. It was refreshing to hear songs that resonated the time before she was over-sexed. "Lace and Leather" is a catchy little rock riff (the bass guitar at the beginning suckered me in. I love bass guitar on it's own).

The filler is the killer (God, I'm terrible) just like on any other pop album these days and there's quite a bit on this album. The songs "Blur" and "Out From Under" lack any real creativity and "Mmm Papi" is sheer cheese, with its sexualized lyrics.

The one aspect of the album I genuinely enjoy is the trance and techno elements added into a few of the songs, which is quite different from most of her past albums. The album as a whole is mediocre, but there are some tracks that really shine.

Britney Spears knows what she's doing and she does it well.

Songs to Download:
Womanizer
Circus
If U Seek Amy
Shattered Glass
Unusual You
Lace and Leather
Radar
Rock Me In
Amnesia

A Jaw-Dropping Thanksgiving Gift

Ann Coulter broke her vile, Xenophobic jaw- thus giving us a nice moment of silence for the holidays.

"We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. We weren't punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers. We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That's war. And this is war. "
Ann Coulter

Twilight: Twinkly Vampires and Angsty Teens

First off, I'd like to say that I have indeed read the book by Stephanie Meyers and I have only one comparison between the book and the movie: none. The movie not only followed the book's plot exactly but it also portrayed the characters perfectly, from physical appearance to mannerisms. Which would be a good thing except...

Well, it did so in the worst possible way.

Let me start off with a generalization. Twilight runs much like its target audience: fifteen to sixteen year-old teenage girls. It stamps its feet, it yells, it cries, it even stares at you dramatically from across the room, attempting in vain to get you pay attention and take it seriously. But all the while, you're standing there embarrassed and desperately trying not to laugh. No offense teenie boppers, I was you once: we can't deny it. Much like Twilight can't hide the fact that it is pure fan-girl fodder.

For those of you who haven't read the book, the movie is a love story between Bella, an angsty and rather melancholy seventeen year-old, and the local vampire hottie, Edward Cullen. The two meet after Bella moves to Forks, Washington from Scottsdale, Arizona. Edward saves her life, she falls for him, evil vampire tries to suck her blood, yada yada yada...I won't spoil the end, even though it's quite predictable for those who haven't read the book.

The book itself reads like a typical day of high school for the first half: shitty, dark, and full of apathy. And, as I said earlier, the movie follows suit, with the first hour feeling slow and boring. Bella's (played by Kristen Stewart) open-mouth expressions of innocence and monotone voice suit the character well, but mix that with Edward's (played by Robert Pattinson) heavy breathing, awkward movements and never-ending glare of death and you have comedy. Not a purposeful comedy, but I laughed nonetheless. I just couldn't take Bella or Edward's angst and emotion seriously because it was so stereotypically teenager, done in the most hollow way possible. Bella's loud sighs of frustration along with her and Edward's “staring contests” in which they look longingly into each other's eyes for thirty seconds while I watch was just too much. But like I said: this is all true to the book. So really, at least for fans, nothing could be more brilliant.

What the fans are probably blissfully ignoring at this point (or they could just be blissfully ignorant) is the fact that every character, save for Bella and Edward, is nothing but a shallow representation of the characters in the book. Realize that I liked the book mainly for its characters so I'm being quite fair with this. The Cullen family is the most shallow set of characters (next to Bella's high school buddies) in the entire film, which was a huge disappointment to me since they are my favorite characters, although physically they look perfectly twinkly and beautiful (I never got the whole “twinkly” skin thing either...so gay, and not the fabulous kind of gay). Like I said, shallow representations: Rosalie is a complete bitch, Alice is a not nearly as sinister as she should be, Esme is typical mom, Jasper says two words, Emmett is (almost) a jock deusche, and Carlisle...well, I liked Carlisle, because he had more substance than the others. Even Edward doesn't have nearly the amount of dimension he had in the book, but he had just enough to make me like him. Just not by much.

From a movie goers stand-point, dialogue was akin to a train wreck. Too juvenile and too simple, especially between Edward and Bella, who seem to go back and forth like an old couple at times.
The only wonderful aspect of Twilight is the visuals and cinematography. The dark color palette and oppressive gloom add to the entire spooky and angsty vibe that the movie desperately attempts to achieve (only succeeding in the visual facet).

I would go into the action parts, but there really wasn't enough for me to particularly enjoy, though I will say the last scene with Evan, the evil tracker vampire, was fun to watch.

Overall, Twilight is just okay. But I don't believe the book was ever meant to be a movie, much less a good one. Never once while I was reading the book did I say, “I hope they make this into a film” because I didn't think it would be compelling as a movie. And in my humble opinion, I was right. But we do have three more movies to go, if Summit decides to keep going with it (which they no doubt will). So, I will read the next three books, and hopefully, they'll be movie material.

Endnote: If you're a fan of the book, you most likely will enjoy the movie. Unless you're like me, in which case you will have incredibly high expectations as you do with every movie you watch and won't settle for anything less, even if you're a fan. I say stick with the Harry Potter franchise, those people got it right.

P.S. Bella does pot. (shown below)